


The BLUE Series

by JackiLeigh



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Hurt/comfort Bromance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 16:32:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13884768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackiLeigh/pseuds/JackiLeigh
Summary: Tag to SWAK.  Each chapter is titled for a character and it is everybody's reaction to Tony's illness.





	The BLUE Series

BLUE SERIES

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This series is regarding Team Gibbs reaction to Tony having the plague. They were first posted individually as a series on another website. But I am posting them here as one continuous piece, enjoy.

 

BLUE PONDERINGS

Kate looked at her partner. She could not deny he was handsome, though to see him now with his spiky sweaty hair and his severely chapped lips, someone might question her tastes. She would never tell him he was handsome, though. She thought his ego was big enough. Plus, she kind of figured he already knew. The way she looked at him sometimes, how could he not?

Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, (to quote some movie line she had heard somewhere, probably from Tony) topped off with stunningly beautiful green eyes. He was cracking jokes one minute at a crime scene to ease the tension and to lighten the mood. The next minute he was deadly serious. He would jump in front of a bullet for any of them in a heartbeat. 

She had profiled him. That WAS what she did for a living, profile people. But, she had gotten him all wrong. She had seen what he had wanted her to see. The mask he presented to people. She hadn’t even known it was a mask and wouldn’t have known if she hadn’t seen it slip when they had been put into the room with the blue lights at Bethesda. He joked. He always joked, but this was a little different. The jokes seemed a little forced and he seemed to be doing it more for himself than for her. That was the first time she had truly seen her partner scared. And in all truth, it terrified her. 

Tony was her rock. She hadn’t even realized that until that moment. That moment when in the room with the blue lights, but it was true. The whole team depended on him. Gibbs as SFA, but also to step up and take over for him if and when the situation presented itself. Abby depended on him to be her safe place, no matter what happened in the world. No matter what happened to him, he would always come back. He would always be there. Tim depended on Tony to teach him the ropes. Gibbs had left Tony in charge of teaching Tim how to be a field agent and in all truth Tony excelled at teaching, and Tim, due in no small part to Tony’s influence, was becoming very good at his job. He was still teaching them. There was still so much that they both could learn from him. 

Kate noticed and appreciated the patience he had shown her and was now showing Tim. She knew Gibbs could not or would not do that, another reason to have Tony as his right-hand-man. Tony had been so patient with her. Seeing she was not getting something right away, he would go over it again and again or go over it more slowly. He would whisper little tricks and tips to her about getting along with Gibbs when he knew Gibbs could not hear him. Tony would also give her other little tricks or tips to deal with the job. She knew the sight of mangled, sometimes, long dead bodies was something she would never get used to. Tony had told her there where things in this job you were never supposed to get used to and if you did you needed to find another occupation. 

It disturbed her now, to see her rock crumbling before her eyes, to see his body wracked with pain as he had coughed so much his chest and back ached for the exertion. To watch him struggle so hard to breathe as the coughing made him winded. To have him collapse against her, spent and exhausted, after one of his spells.

Kate rubbed Tony’s back, his head resting on her shoulder as he fought to regain his breath. “You’re doing great, Tony. That spell didn’t last nearly as long as the last time.” Kate said looking up at Emma, who, by her expression, seemed to agree with Kate. Emma took the opportunity to remove Tony’s pajama top, wash the sweat off his face and chest, and, with Kate’s help, get him into a clean top. 

Kate helped Emma ease Tony back onto the bed after he finally fallen asleep, his head resting on Kate’s shoulder. They managed not to wake Tony and Kate retreated to her bed. She had moved herself closer to him. There was now only one empty bed separating the two. She lay down on her bed, turned on her side, facing her partner. 

She allowed herself to close her eyes and sleep praying and hoping that the man, her partner, her rock would still be there when she woke up.

TBC

 

A NIGHTMARE IN BLUE

 

SUMMARY: Tim's thoughts during Tony's plague ordeal. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I think I am beginning another series here. This is not exactly a follow-up to 'Blue Ponderings, ' but it connects. I realize that it has been many years since SWAK first aired, but it remains one of my favorite episodes. 

Tim was in a personal hell. Why had he allowed the envelope to be snatched out of his hands? He would not have opened it. Would he? The fact that he did not know the answer to that question, for sure, terrified him. And why Tony of all people? Sure Tony tormented him relentlessly. There were days he wished Tony's mouth had been wired shut. But he would have never wished this on anybody. He had an intense dislike for Tony, sometimes. But he didn't HATE the guy.

Tim knew Tony took the blame for things that he had done with Gibbs. He knew Tony had taken the blame for things Kate had done too. And it wasn't that he wanted Tony to get in trouble with Gibbs, though it seemed, at times, he stayed in trouble with Gibbs. It was just that...well, Gibbs scared him and Tony in his goofball, sophomoric, frat boy kind-of-way dealt with Gibbs with a talent and skill that he did not possess and probably never would.

McGee would have never told Tony, but he knew Tony did a lot more work at SFA than he had first realized. Kate still didn't know that Tony sometimes still came back in at night to finish up all his SFA duties. Gibbs always joked that Tony did some of his best work at night and he was not at all surprised at Tony's reappearance on the NCIS security camera system at odd hours of the night. 

McGee put his hands on the glass barrier. He had walked into Tony's temporary home at Bethesda only moments before. He had not known what to expect. What he saw out of one of those alien movies Tony always talked about. He was in a huge room which basically contained a smaller long rectangular room which consisted of glass walls. He spoke briefly with Dr. Pitt explaining who he was and why he was there. 

McGee than turned again and looked at the sight before him. He started towards the doors of the isolation unit, but knowing he could not go in, as Tony was still not cleared, he detoured. He went around to the glass wall immediately next to Tony's bed. He stood staring in at the sight in front of him. Kind of like how a child will stand, both hands on the glass and nose pressed against it for a better view. Except before him was not a pretty Christmas display in a store window. It was more like a horror scene out of the mind of Stephen King. The man before him did NOT look like Anthony DiNozzo. He bore no resemblance to the man he knew. And if it had not been for the slight rise and fall of the man's chest, Tim would have sworn he was looking at a corpse.

Tim stood completely still. He closed his eyes against the vision before him, hoping to erase it from his mind and, more than anything. Hoping that when he opened his eyes again it would not be there. That it had all been a bad dream. He stood that way for several more moments. Thinking the longer he kept his eyes closed the more real his hopes would become. 

He opened his eyes at the sound of harsh, rasping coughing. Tim saw Kate fly to Tony's beside. Emma came in seconds later from the nurses's station just outside the door. They both quickly and adeptly pulled Tony into a sitting position and held him there until the coughing spell was over. He then saw Tony collapse against Kate as she stood talking to him softly and rubbing his back. Soon Tony was asleep. Tim could hear his soft snoring even through the glass. He sought and got Kate's attention. They made eye contact for just a few seconds before she turned away and headed back to her own bed. The momentary crises over. 

Kate's look told him more than he had really wanted to know. She communicated her concern about Tony. Her fears about his current condition and prognoses. He even saw the hope she was desperately holding onto that he would make it through this and be the same annoyingly-loveable Tony. 

Tim realized in that moment, watching Tony struggle to breathe and cough at the same time what Tony mean to him, and to Team Gibbs. Tony was not a easy person to understand. He didn't claim to be and didn't apologize for making people work a little to get to know him. To see what made him tick. McGee was glad and still greatly appreciated that Tony did not down him or tease him for his lack of street smarts. Tony could have easily had a field day with that. But Tony knew it was something Tim couldn't really help not knowing about. Street smarts were not needed in the computer field, or in the world of suburbia were Tim was born and raised. Tim had not realized how much he had depended on Tony when he had first joined Team Gibbs. Tony had run interference constantly when Tim had messed up in his fist weeks there. Tony repeatedly telling Gibbs that Tim was taking his first Probie-steps into the big world of NCIS bad guys. Gibbs accepting Tony's explanation with an amused smile and letting Tony do his thing, knowing his SFA had the situation well in hand. Tony had helped Tim with his self-confidence, which was severely lacking, and had given him tips on how to deal the perpetual dark cloud known as Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Tim had rested his forehead against the glass wall lost in thought when he felt eyes on him. He looked up and his eyes met Tony's. Tony's mouth turned up into a smile, then he started to speak. Tim was, at that moment, very glad for the quick lesson in lip reading Abby had given him because he understood every word Tony was saying to him. A huge grin lit up Tim's face at Tony's message. He nodded and turned to leave only when he saw Tony close his eyes. 

The sound of Tony's voice was in his head, repeated the message Tony had mouthed to him through the glass. "I'm OK, Tim. I'm OK." That short simple message filled him with so much hope. He was absolutely positive his friend would make it through this. He felt lighter and happier than he had in days as he left Bethesda and headed home.

TBC

 

BLACK AND BLUE

 

SUMMARY: Abby's reaction to the plague The black in the title refers to Abby's Gothic attire.

Abby sat on the floor in the corner of her lab, Bert squeezed tight to her chest. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Tony could not have the plague. Who gets the plague anymore? She had been on video link with Autopsy when Gibbs had gotten the news that only Tony had been effected. It had somehow been easier to take when the possibility was that they all COULD have had it, than it had been when they found out that Tony did, indeed, have it.

Abby had had to be professional. She had had to do her job, when Gibbs and the rest had been there, but now. Now they were gone. The evidence had been processed. The perpetrator probably caught by now. Gibbs and Paula having left for her offices more than 20 minutes ago.

Now Abby needed to sit on the floor in a corner of her lab. Her mind was going 90 miles a minute. She flashed back on the time when she and Tony had first met. This skinny, handsome kid Gibbs had brought down to the lab for her to met. She remembered thinking he would not last a week under Gibbs' instruction. Her hearing Tony ask Gibbs if she was 'for real' when Tony and Gibbs had left the lab and were just outside her doors. She had, in particular, remembered the expression he had worn. She thought he was making fun of her. The expression being one of amusement and open curiosity. What she had not heard, she found out later, was Tony telling Gibbs he had never met an actual Goth. Just those dressed up for Halloween and that she really seemed like a sweet, fun person. The friendship had developed slowly. She became used to his goofy, endearing manner and he became used to her demonstration of affection through her monstrous hugs. She remembered him tensing up the first time she had hugged him. It had taken her by surprise. She had backed off immediately, hurt and angry. Then one day he confided in her. He had never received a lot of hugs as a child. After his mother had died, he hadn't gotten any. She made it her personal mission right then, that day, to make sure she hugged him, at least once a day, much more if she could. 

Abby hugged Bert tight again and he responded in his usual manner. She pulled her legs up to her chest and cried even harder. She had been crying since they had all left. She had surprised herself by being able to hold it together as long as she had. She had always thought of Tony as her safe place. He was always there, ready, willing and able to say or do whatever was needed to make her feel better. He had special way with her. Their friendship was weird, unconventional and completely wonderful and special and she would not change anything about it. She knew whatever happened out in the field, out on a case, that she could always depend on him to come back. He had been hurt on cases, many times, more then she had wanted to even remember or count. She kept telling herself that his luck would run out at some point. It had to. She knew that he was already a 'statistical anomaly.' She couldn't imagine, she had told Gibbs once in a conversation in her lab, how he kept coming out of the trouble he seemed to attract to himself like a magnet.

"Well," Abby said standing. She wiped her eyes and she clutched Bert to her chest with the other. "...thanks you guys." She said to Major MassSpec and her other assorted lab equipment. "You came through for Tony and I when we needed you to. But now," She said, struggling to get into her coat as she held on to Bert. "...I need to be here for Tony. I need to be his safe place. I need to be his rock. He needs both of us and we will not come back until we have completed our mission. Right, Bert?" Abby looked down at Bert and gave him another affectionate squeeze. "That's right." Abby said as she started to leave. She then turned and saluted just as the lab doors slid closed behind her.

TBC

 

NAVY BLUE

 

SUMMARY: Gibbs's reaction to the plague.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This title can be taken two ways. As the color, or breaking it down into Navy-a military branch of service. Then the color, blue. I meant it more this way because of the military connection, thought we all know Gibbs was not a Navy man. I had also thought about calling it "Dress Blues." But I am not sure if that term is even a military term. That, I think, if a cop term. But it would still apply, since they are Navy Cops. Long story short, I SERIOUSLY over-thought this title. But, anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Gibbs remembered the exact moment when he world came crashing down around him. Though from his outward appearance and manner, no one would have guessed at the turmoil, hurt, and despair tearing at his heart. He had relived the events of the past few hours like a film reel set on a continuous loop. What could he have changed? What could he have done differently? Would it have, indeed, mattered?

Fifteen percent chance at life, which meant an 85% chance of dying. Surely the scientist was wrong. That was it, he had meant to say a 51% chance of survival. Sure, that was it. It had to be 51% because 15% was not possible. It was not conceivable. He could not, would not wrap his mind around that possibility. How does one overcome that? 

Sure, Tony WAS young. He WAS strong. He ran every day. But he ate pizza like a fiend and in all the time Gibbs had worked with him he had never seen Tony order a salad. Unless, of course, you count the lettuce and tomato that came on his cheeseburger, which Tony did.

Gibbs thought about the past 4 years. The young pain-in-the-ass detective he had met in Baltimore. The older, more mature man Tony had become. The one who had worked for Gibbs, with Gibbs, had Gibbs' six. And had and would again, at anytime, risk his life to save Gibbs's. That man deserved more than a 15% chance. Tony had only had his mother for what would be about 15% of his life. He had only had his father's attention for what would be about 15%. He was not going to go out on 15%, that was for damn sure. He had been short-changed enough in this life.

Gibbs burst through the doors of the isolation unit. He walked right past Ducky and Kate. The sight before him, though, nearly stopped him in his tracks. This was not Anthony DiNozzo, not the Anthony DiNozzo he knew. Even under the blue lights he could see the dire condition of his agent. He, in a way, was glad for the blue lights. They were probably saving him from getting a clearer, more disturbing, picture of Tony's condition. He paused only a second, schooling his expression and checking his emotions so Tony would not see his worry and fear. He paused again, only long enough to tell Dr. Pitt the virus was dead. He then continued on to his agent's bedside. He took the hand that was nearest him. He opened it. It was scary it was so easy, Tony's grip was so weak. He put Tony's phone in his hand and closed Tony's fingers around it so that he would not drop it. Gibbs knew the nurses and doctor would wonder at his actions. Why give a man who could barely speak a phone? But Gibbs knew Tony would understand. Gibbs knew Tony considered his phone his link to the world. It was Gibbs' way of telling Tony he was going to make it.

Gibbs bent down to Tony's level and whispered to him. Gibbs again struggled to keep his emotions in check as he heard and saw Tony struggle to speak. He gave Tony a 'modified head-slap, and again felt himself tearing up. Gibbs straightened up. He patted Tony's arm and walked away, leaving isolation. He let out a breath he did not know he had been holding as soon as he exited the room. He nodded to Kate and Ducky but did not stop. He just managed to get outside the ICU/Isolation area and into a hallway away from the main traffic before the first tear fell. He leaned back against the wall, allowing it to take his weight as he reflected on the events of the past evening. He contemplated how close his life had come to being shattered again. He then leaned his head back against the wall, sighed, and wiped his eyes. 

It was up to him now. Tony, he knew, had been the glue for the team. Kate and Abby were nearly inconsolable. Tim was coping, but barely, feeling as though he would wake up any moment and this bad dream, hellish nightmare would be over. Ducky had not allowed it to hit him yet. Still spouting statistics and retelling stories he had read in long-forgotten texts about the effects of the various plague and pestilence on Europe in the Middle Ages. They all knew, deep down, that though the plague virus dead, the vessel, aka Anthony DiNozzo, still might not survive. The irreversible damage to his body had yet to be assessed.

He, ex-Marine Leroy Jethro Gibbs, was afraid. He was afraid he would lose a man he had come to depend on like a brother. Someone whom he was coming to love as a son. He was afraid Tony might die, never knowing that Kate had not been infected to begin with. 

Gibbs knew what he had to do. He pushed himself off the wall and walked back into the isolation. He had ordered Tony not to die, and Tony rarely disobeyed a direct order. He, Gibbs, would order them all to not fall apart. Maybe then he, himself, would survive.

TBC

 

BLUE STEEL

 

SUMMARY: Ducky's take on Tony's illness. The steel in the title refers to the surgical instruments that Ducky uses in Autopsy.

When Abby said the word Plague, Ducky wanted to her to repeat herself. He wanted her to tell him she had NOT found the plague. Anthrax would have been better. Malaria, Typhoid, any of the other numerous ailments of the Middle Ages would have sufficed. Because, back then, by the time you found out that the person had the plague, you were burying him. Now, it's better, but not much. Especially with the nice little present we were given, in the form of a genetic mutation. 

Ducky keep spouting statistics to everyone. He kept reminding himself that if he stayed busy that he wouldn't have to think. He don't want to think, not now, not about this. He know, better than any of his colleagues what hell young Anthony was going through. He know what was down the road for Tony and in a way he am glad that that road is short. He was glad death comes so quickly. He, they all, cared far too much for that young man to see him suffer like that. 

Fifteen percent survival rate. Ducky had read that in one of those long-forgotten texts to which he kept referring. He had gone back and rechecked the figure, hoping that he had gotten it wrong. He had not. 

Ducky had only one single regret with his relationship with Anthony. He had always considered Anthony something of a nephew. He appreciated the fact that Tony listened to his stories. Anthony had even told Ducky some great ones. True, Anthony was the most difficult patient Ducky had ever had. But since Ducky understood where the fear was coming from, he didn't mind, too much, Anthony's reluctance to accept care. Almost three years after Anthony had joined NCIS he had been looking for a place to stay while his apartment was being fumigated. Anthony had, and Ducky had taken it as a hint that Anthony had wanted to stay with him, stated he didn't know where Ducky lived. Ducky had said then that he would prefer Tony didn't know. Ducky thought, for just a second, a look of hurt flashed across Tony's face. 

Ducky had not meant it the way it had sounded. He had wanted to explain that to Tony. But he had not had the chance. But even at that time, he was being to see the signs. His mother, he believed, had Alzheimer's but it took years, sometimes, to diagnose. She tended to get confused easily and having visitors/company in the house only made things worse. Plus, the fact remained, it WAS her house, not his. He had just moved back in. It was shortly after his father had died and the signs of the disease had begun to show. Ducky had not wanted to expose Anthony to his mother's unpredictable moods and sometimes violent behavior. He hoped he would get the opportunity to explain all that to Tony.

Ducky had had to leave Autopsy. He had had to leave Gibbs and Tim behind. And there was, for just a second, a look of sheer unadulterated panic in Jethro's eyes. It jarred Ducky. He have never, ever seen the man so...lost...so helpless. Jethro tried to leave with Ducky. He can't and he knew it. But still he tried. 

Up in Abby's lab, Ducky commented on the calligraphy contained in the letter. It was asinine he know, but the lettering was beautiful. Holding that letter, even through protective gloved hands made it more real. A little too real. Ducky had wanted to go back, back to Autopsy, back to the simple cases, back to the times before bio-weapons and terrorists. Back to the healthy Anthony, not the one whom, he knew, was waiting to die at Bethesda.

Ducky entered the isolation unit at Bethesda. He was floored at the sight before him. He had never seen a plague victim up close, and even the drawings in the texts he had poured over had not done the disease justice. Ducky was jerked out of his thoughts by the sounds of Tony's coughing. He looked up to see the nurse, the doctor, and Kate all around Tony's bed. Then seconds later Kate was out of the room sobbing in his arms that Tony was dying.

Ducky hugged Kate back. He spoke soothing words in her ear. The whole time watching Gibbs as he entered isolation and walked right up to Tony's bed. When Gibbs came back out, he saw Gibbs smile. It was a genuine smile. They both knew Anthony had a long way to go. Nobody was deceiving themselves there. But Ducky now had hope. After all, virus was dead, but Tony was not. 

TBC

 

DRESS BLUES

 

SUMMARY: Tony's take on his illness. #6 in the 'Blue' series. This is the last installment. I hope you enjoyed it. It was a fun, quick little series to write. In case you missed anything there's Blue Ponderings, A Nightmare in Blue, Black and Blue, Navy Blue, Blue Steel, and Dress Blues. ENJOY!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This title fit Tony because, I believe, Dress Blues are used to describe a policeman's uniform. I gave Tony a little more education than mentioned in the show. I also made up a tiny bit of family history. An isolated incident. 

How does one contract the plague in the modern world? Didn't it go out in Middle Ages with open sewers and pestilence? Any why me? Why did I have to open that damned envelope? That is what it really comes down to. Why did I open that damned envelope? But that begs another question. Would Probie Wan Kenobi have opened it? Would Kate? Would Gibbs? 

That then leaves me to ask, what would I have done if it had been one of them? Would I break down at the prospect of losing a friend? Would I have been strong enough to get the rest of the team through it if Gibbs had opened that envelope instead of me? I would like to think I would, but, honestly I don't know. I don't know if Kate and Tim would have accepted me as their leader. I know intellectually they would have had to. I'm the next in line, but I wonder sometime. They way things are between us. Would it work?

That, as they say is the million dollar question. And the answer is I don't know, and that scares me. I have my reasons for the way I treat them. It is not out of meanness or spite. I, in all honesty, am trying to help them. Kate, for starters was way too serious when she first came to work here. You can't take yourself so very seriously when you deal with the horrors this job entails on a daily basis. So, I joke, I prod, I pick to try to make her loosen up. 

Kate's comebacks to me, however, are far from kind. She wounds. She jabs and then she goes in for the kill. I try to dial it up, though. I try to make her see that what she does hurts. I try to make her understand that. But usually all I get for my efforts are more, deeper wounds. I tend to be the one who concedes. The one who crawls away wounded and bleeding, needing time to heal.

And I am ashamed to say, my relationship with Tim is not much better. I also have tried to help him. I knew when he first came here he was ill prepared to see corpses day in and day out. He needed to be toughened up a little. I knew his computer background did nothing to prepare him for this job. I also knew I needed to take time to build create that tough skin he would need. I also knew I needed to build his confidence. I figured that those things would go hand in hand. And they did, but along with building confidence, I built resentment. That was a truly unexpected and unwanted byproduct of my teaching method. His resentment, though, thank God, does not rear its ugly head in the same way Kate's does. He did, though, blind-sided me on my education. I told him I had a P.E. degree and you could almost see his attitude towards me change. He then started questioning my methods and my conclusions. He and Kate did actually. So I guess he told her and then they have come to the mutual conclusion that I am just a dumb jock. 

If I remember correctly the words 'dumb jock' did come out of my mouth when I told Tim about my degree. But, I was talking in reference to the techno jargon he was spouting to me at the time. And I didn't mean it as a putdown on myself, obviously. I just wanted him to explain things a little. He, however, took it as a sign of my 'enormous stupidity' and ran with it. He never seems to miss an occasion to throw his MIT degrees in my face. He would be surprised to know how much education I do have. I guess he has never read the reqs for someone of my ranking.

My comebacks to Tim are not as severe because his attacks are not as hurtful. I usually just dial up the obnoxiousness just a little and he backs down quickly. I am not ashamed of my education and there have been several times where I have almost told him how many degrees I do have and where they are from. (I'm quite sure he would be impressed by my Ivy League credentials.) I don't tell people about my higher education a lot. I guess, especially with Harvard. (OK, the cat is out of the bag.) It's like people are really, really impressed and happy for your achievement or they label you a uppity rich snob and want nothing to do with you. And for me, it seems to be more of the latter. Also, at least for me, people can't believe people who look like I do can be smart. It's like everybody else had to choose between looks and smarts and it's not fair that one person might have both. 

That really sounded conceited and I didn't mean it that way. I mean I look OK, nice hair, nice eyes (so I've been told.) I just know that people can be intimidated by looks. I just don't see how my looks could be intimidating, but I do get that impression sometimes.

I am not sure why I am even thinking about this now. Dr. Pitt just told me I have the plague and I start on this little, I don't know. I don't know tangent, I guess. I just don't know how I am supposed to feel right now. I don't know what I am supposed to think. But maybe just being introspective is enough. I don't think I even realized until now how much those things Kate and Tim said really bothered me. I need to address that, but I don't know how, and now is definitely not the time. 

I don't believe Kate is infected. Her mouth said the words, but her eyes. Her eyes told me she was not. Still, she stayed. I don't know why she stayed. I don't get it. I heard Brad telling her to leave. I heard other snippets of their conversation also, but nothing I could put together to make any sense.

I don't have much time for introspection here lately. My time is taken up with coughing and breathing and trying not to do both at the same time. Nurse Emma is here with me pretty much constantly now. I can't seem to do anything that doesn't induce a coughing fit. I can't even thing about coughing and not start doing it. 

My chest hurts now, almost constantly. My back too. 

I remember getting injured at lot in college sports, it came with the territory. I can remember broken ribs, cracked ribs, bruised rib cages and bruised backs. But I think if I had all those injuries all over, at the same time, that pain would only be fraction of the pain I feel now. I never knew it could hurt to lie down. I never knew it could hurt to sit up. My chest and my back hurts so much every position is uncomfortable. I can usually only fall asleep after I have coughed so much, that I am exhausted. So, I guess, technically, it's not so much falling asleep as it is passing out. 

I never knew how horrible it was not to be able to breathe. I mean, when I was a kid I panicked once when I dove into our pool, the deep end, and it took me longer than I thought it should for me to break the surface of the water. But that was nothing compared it this. I know that is air out there. I'm surrounded by it. And I try to inhale, but for some reason nothing happens, so I try again, then I get a little something, a little air. It's like you're sucking air through a straw anyway, and then you hit the bottom of the cup. Like when you finish your soda at McDonalds and you're sucking hard on that straw to get every last little bit of soda out before you have to throw the cup away. Only it's EVERY breath ALL the time. The total breathlessness only happens, luckily, immediately after a particularly long or hard coughing spell. 

I tasted blood a little while ago, I think. Emma wiped something off my face She then showed the tissue to Brad and he nodded. I think they both thought I missed it. I thought I saw a worried look pass between the two of them, I'm not entirely sure. I don't like where this is going. I only know it's never good to be coughing up blood.

TBC

 

MOODY BLUES

Tony protested being wheeled out to Gibbs' car. He protested needing help getting into the car. Despite the fact he was not able to stand that well and he was still weak.

Gibbs's arm around Tony hurt. His chest and back were still sore from all the coughing. And any touch, no matter how light, brought discomfort. The journey up the four steps to Gibbs front door was tortuous. Tony grabbed and held on to the rail. He tried to get up the stairs himself. He tried to pull away from Gibbs's arm and ease his discomfort. But instead he ended up leaning heavily on Gibbs.

"Tony!" Gibbs said as Tony leaned against him. "Tony?"

"'m okay." Tony said. "Tired."

"Shoulda stayed in the hospital." Gibbs said trying to keep Tony from collapsing to the ground.

Tony shook his head as vigorously as he could. "No! Glad to get out. Couldn't sleep last night. Ready to leave."

"Tony?" Gibbs said. Tony didn't freely make admissions, even about being tired. Gibbs knew, by that, that Tony must be very tired. The medication too, had begun to kick in. He stood for a few moments, allowing Tony time to rest.

"Coulda gone home. Too much trouble." Tony said. He moved towards the steps again.

Gibbs looked at him. "You live alone, DiNozzo. How was that going to work?"

"Ms. Garry." Tony offered.

"She is 85 years old and has an arthritic hip." Gibbs reminded him.

"She likes me." Tony said.

"I bet she does." Gibb smiled, looking at Tony.

"There's Miss Harper." Tony offered.

"The spinster cat lady you said smelled like kitty litter?" Gibb asked.

"There's…." Tony started.

"There's nobody, Tony. You can't stay by yourself."

"I could…."

"Shut up, DiNozzo."

"Shutting up, Boss."

Tony slowly made his way up Gibbs steps, with Gibbs' help. Tony finally made it inside. He then collapsed onto the couch. His chest was killing him.

"Tony!" Gibbs knelt down in front of Tony. He put his hands on Tony's knees.

Tony shook his head. "Chest…sore. It's…I'm OK."

Gibbs stayed in the crouching position, only rising when Tony's breathing had evened out. "Come on. I'll get you to bed."

"Been in bed for a month, Gibbs."

"You are on bed rest for a week, doctor's orders. Plus, you are still on some pretty strong pain killers. You need the rest."

Gibbs helped Tony sit on the bed then disappeared into the bathroom to get a glass of water. He sat the water at Tony's bedside. He then helped Tony get his shoes and socks off, having left the hospital dressed in PJs. He closed his eyes as Gibbs pulled the covers up over him.

"You put on a nursemaid outfit..." Tony muttered. "…and I'm outta here."

"DiNozzo." Gibbs warned.

"Shutting…up…Boss." Tony muttered as he went off to sleep.

Gibbs shook his head, smiling as he dimmed the lights. He then went into the kitchen to get his first of what would be, he figured, many cups of coffee. He then grabbed a blanket, his glasses, and a crossword puzzle and settled into the chair beside Tony's bed.

Tony slept through the night. He woke up early to find Gibbs asleep in his chair, his glasses hanging off the end of his nose. Tony reached out and touched Gibbs' hand.

"You OK, DiNozzo." Gibbs asked, stirring from his semi-conscious state.

"Better than yesterday." Tony conceded.

"Ducky is coming…."

Tony shook his head. "I'm been poked and prodded enough. I don't have any blood left. The vampires at the hospital took it all." Tony shuddered, recounting his many needle sticks and blood draws.

"I called him about your chest. He wants to check your lungs too."

"Dr. Pitt…."

"Brad's way of checking up on you." Gibbs said. "He asked Ducky to report his findings."

Tony nodded and attempted to stretch, then realized that it was a huge mistake. He groaned, loudly, as his chest and back muscles protested the movement. He put his hand to his chest and squeezed his eyes closed.

"Tony!" Gibbs said, concerned. "Damnet, Tony, stop doing that."

"What?" Tony asked, through his pain. It was bad enough he was hurting, what the hell was Gibb's problem now?

"Brad told you not to try and raise your arms."

"I forgot." Tony groaned out.

"Don't. Forget." Gibbs stated.

Tony closed his eyes and waited for the pain to ease instead of responding to Gibbs.

Gibbs immediately regretted his harsh words to Tony. He was the flash of hurt in Tony's eyes. He wanted until Tony closed his eyes before he moved his hand to Tony's head. He gently patted Tony's head. "I…I'm going to go make us breakfast."

Gibbs returned a few minutes later with oatmeal and a cup of coffee. He brought his own breakfast in so that he could eat with Tony. Tony stared at the oatmeal for a moment and when the sight and smell didn't cause his stomach to turn he decided to try to eat some. It has actually been pretty good. Gibbs had seasoned it just right, and Tony surprised himself by finishing the bowl. He drank all of his coffee also. He fell asleep in the position Gibbs had propped him up in, on a mound of pillows. Gibbs decided just to let him stay that way for a little while as he got down to business with his daily chores. He came into the spare/Tony's bedroom many times to check on him, each time finding Tony sound asleep or just dozing. He would leave again and go back to whatever he was doing.

NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS

"You gotta move around Tony, doctor's orders." Gibbs said as he encouraged Tony to get up out of the bed. He had been at Gibbs' for a week.

"Too sore." Tony responded as he sat up.

"Which is why you need to move..." Gibbs said. "…to get up and move around."

"I'm sore." Tony complained, again.

"You lay in bed you will get pneumonia." Gibbs reminded him.

Tony flashed back to that awful period, not too long ago. He decided to get up out of bed and move around a little. The next time it was easier to get up. The next time even easier, and before long the soreness was gone, a distant memory.

Tony sat down on the stair 3 steps up and watched Gibbs sand. He had been at Gibbs house a total of two weeks. He was going home tomorrow. He had been cleared by both Brad and Ducky to do so.

"Ducky said I could go home." Tony started.

"Yep." Gibbs replied.

"It's been….I…."

"Don't start, Tony." Gibbs warned. He wanted no mushy sentiment.

"You would deny me this Hallmark moment?" Tony asked, grinning.

"It's not going to be a Hallmark moment if I have to slap you upside the head." Gibbs replied.

"Thank…."

"Tony!"

"Just as well...I tried to wax poetic." Tony said, grinning. "But I could not find anything that rhymed with 'pain-in-the-ass' that would fit the occasion."

"Hallmark don't make those." Gibbs stated.

"No, they do not." Tony agreed.

Gibbs put down his sand paper and walked over to Tony. He put his hands to either side of his face. "You are irreplaceable to me. I want you to know that. I told you that before. I meant it then, and I mean it now." Gibbs patted Tony's face lightly with his right hand. "But, you are on medical leave for two more weeks. If I see you in the office before then, I will kick your ass. You understand?"

"Got it, Boss!" Tony said, smiling.

 

THE END


End file.
